It’s Complicated, as almost everything in life is, I know!
Here’s what I’ve got so far: –
YouTube playlist: Click/Tap
Spotify playlist: Click/Tap
Apple playlist: Click/Tap
Amazon playlist: Click/Tap
Facebook Page: Click/Tap
My musical efforts are both private and for show.
I was only ever really interested in writing and recording a ‘good’ song, and that’s what I’ve been trying to do, for years!
I’m not a showman. I can’t imagine choosing a more uncomfortable or unpleasant way to spend my time than standing on a stage and performing a song, either a cover or one of my own.
I did spend a few years, regularly performing on stage in various capacities, mainly covering other people’s songs, on my own or in little informal bands. It felt like a thing I ‘should’ do and I did learn a great deal from the experience. I kept thinking that if I did it enough I would eventually learn to enjoy doing it, but I never did. I’m just not built that way.
As has been the case so many times in my life, the penny drop moment was a very long time coming. 🙂
I really don’t like the idea of having to put myself on show, but there is also something that feels wrong about creating a recording that nobody ever hears, especially if it’s one that I actually like. So now I post my recordings on-line and kinda hope someone will find pleasure in them.
What I do in recording is more akin to making a painting than it is to entertaining. I have painted a fair bit over the years, but I stopped to focus on music because I have limited time or space to accommodate both.
I love the process of producing both, but not much beyond that process.
I’d always like to find a nice home for a painting, but after that’s done, I wouldn’t want to have to spend my life standing next to it, so people can examine me as they decide if they like the painting or not.
In the same way, I like to send my recordings off, into the ether, and let them land where they will. I don’t want to have to spend my life being part of why, or if, they are enjoyed.
They are no more me than any of my paintings would be. I am certainly not one of either.
I do occasionally listen to them again, from time to time, but I always go back to what I could have done better and what I learned from doing each one that I could utilise or improve on later.
Each song holds some new trick I’ve learned or tried out, so it’s good to go back and refresh my memory of those things.
The recordings I make are genuinely just experiments. I’m still trying to work out how to record that ‘good’ song. I feel that I am getting closer, but I’ve got plenty more experimenting to do.
I know that’s not how the music industry works, but I’m not participating in it that way, so I’m sure it’s fine.
Certainly, I would like to earn enough money, from what I do music wise, not to have to earn from elsewhere, but I don’t want that so badly that I’d be willing to give up my independence, peace of mind or freedom.
I enjoy music, not attention.
Having said that, I realise there is something special about a shared musical experience. I do enjoy going out to a gig and hearing someone else play. Particularly, when the artist is a real performer, loves what they’re doing and engages with their audience. I guess even more so, when there’s a bonding thing going on. Maybe it’s the added tribe type element.
I also like the choir environment. A group of people singing together can be quite magical, when it works well. It can also be just great fun when it works less well. Every rehearsal, in my experience, is an uplifting experience if you’re lucky enough to be part of the right choir.
Generally, evidence of the over powering egos I have come across in solo and band performers, is less apparent in a choir. As there tends to be no one person grabbing at the limelight, choirs allow everyone to shine, but in an inconspicuous and, I think, a more gracious way.
Choirs provide an opportunity for personal joy and expression, among other things, without the spotlight of attention or judgement.
I like the idea of choirs, a lot. Especially as, for me, they are a almost unique opportunity to learn about song construction, harmony etc. Being present while the group is learning the different parts, that make the choir sound good, is invaluable for me. I learn much better by doing than I ever did by reading a book. Academic study never was one of my great strengths.
What I’ve recorded so far have all been experiments really, rather than actual songs, informed by many such experiences,.
I decided one day, decades ago, that I wanted to write and record a ‘good’ song. So, I picked up a guitar and had a go.
It didn’t take long for me to realise it was going to be considerably more difficult than I had anticipated. As I began to understand more and more about music and song writing, I started to realised, with increasing clarity, the level of difficulty I was facing.
Regardless, as has often been my way in life, I jut figured, ‘ah it’ll be fine, I can work this out.’
As I said, that was decades ago and I’m still trying to ‘figure it out.’
My initial approach was very simple. ‘I’ll just learn a few chords then I’ll start writing songs!’ I’ve always been able to sing reasonably in tune, so all I really needed was a couple of songs and I’d be good to go. I thought being a rock star could be fun, and I guess being rich into the bargain would be handy too.
In retrospect I realise I’d bought into the punk era PR, a little too much.
As it turns out, my lack of natural talent and failure to achieve rock star status was a real blessing. I know now, I would have hated it all. To say I was naive and ignorant back then would be the understatement of this, and that, century.
Luck’s a funny thing, sometimes it’s not until much later in life, if ever, that you realise how lucky you’ve been.
As it happens, It didn’t take me too long to work that one out, but that didn’t diminish my desire to write and record a ‘good’ song.
Even now, I’m fully aware that I’m not a ‘proper’ musician.
My course of learning has not included specialised training, the achievement of recognised or certified skills. In fact, for all those years, I’m still not particularly knowledgeable about music construction, even today.
I can play the guitar and keyboard, a bit. My ability was once described as ‘chord crunching,’ although I have become a bit more proficient since then, that’s actually quite a fair description of what I can do.
I can often come up with jumbled words that sometimes rhyme, so they’re my lyrics, although I realise, sadly, that I rarely have anything to say that’s worth paying particular attention too. I can sometimes use words in a lyric to paint a bit of a picture, but even the images I create are essentially just aesthetics.
I can hum bits of various songs when I’m out and about and I can sing along with parts of a song I like, when they play on the radio, but that’s really the extent of what I can do.
A lot of it has to do with the way my brain works, but, again, another story.
‘Hard work works when talent doesn’t!’
I love that quote and I believe it’s true.
However, the problem is, where music is concerned, I’m not much good at hard work and I don’t have natural talent, so it’s a bit, ‘rock and a hard place’ for me on that score.
I genuinely ‘play’ music. I play at writing it and I play at recording it. I relax when I’m listening to it. If it ever became ‘work’ I doubt I would survive long at all. I would probably just wander off and find something less work-like to do.
I’m happy to say, recently I have managed to produce a few recordings that I like, although not yet one that I feel is actually right. That ‘good’ song remains illusive for the moment.
That said, just like I would like some of my paintings to have the home I spoke about earlier, I would like to find a home for some of my recordings, beyond my own playlist.
I’ve set up a Facebook page and I’ve paid to ‘boost’ it so that Facebook users, with a taste in music, I think may be similar to my own, might click on the link and hear some of my recordings. (I’m hoping those who did, did actually like them.)
A surprising number of people were kind enough to click the ‘Like’ button, which I very much appreciate, but don’t know for sure what it was that they actually liked, and I would like to know. If you were one of those who clicked ‘Like,’ I would be grateful if you could let me know what made you do it!
Was it the picture, was it one of the recordings, was it all of them, was it just that you had a bit of a trigger finger on that day and clicked ‘Like’ by accident?
I’m going to carry on making recordings and I hope you’ll feel it’s worth keeping listening out for what I do.
If you do like any of it, do let me know.
If anyone felt inclined to cover any of my songs, in any way, I’d love to hear a recording, if it’s possible.
I would like the credit for having written the original if it’s going to be sold or published in any way, but generally I don’t much care about royalties or copyrights, in fact, so long as it’s not turned into something illegal or offensive, I don’t care what gets done with it. I don’t want to get sued or feel embarrassed, please.
Even AI versions would be fun to hear.
If you do decide to do something with one of them, please send me a link, so I can have a listen and share whatever you come up with.
Thank you.
Here’s what I’ve got so far: –